


Thinking About Blind Dates...

by idiotgrimes



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind date!AU, Drabble, M/M, So Simon's still in the closet, There were no e-mails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 06:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotgrimes/pseuds/idiotgrimes
Summary: “I set you up on a blind date.” Simon's father says, “I thought it would be a good thing.”“Yeah, no, it’s… fine.”“Six o’clock at the Greenfeld’s place. You’ve been there before.”It’s not until Simon’s halfway up the stairs that it clicks.Greenfeld. He’s going on a blind date withBram’s sister.





	Thinking About Blind Dates...

Sometimes—well, _most of the time_ , Simon wishes he’d have the guts to just come out with it and say, “I’m gay” just to get it over with. Mostly during times like this, where Simon’s ambushed by his father.

“What.” Simon deadpans, dropping his backpack.

“I set you up on a blind date.” His father says before Simon could escape up to his room for a day of binge-watching some show. “I thought it would be a good thing.”

“Yeah, no, it’s… fine.” Simon blinks.

It’s really, _really_ , not fine.

“Six o’clock at the Greenfeld’s place. You’ve been there before.”

It’s not until Simon’s halfway up the stairs that it clicks. _Greenfeld_. He’s going on a blind date with Bram’s sister.

Shit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Oh, Simon Spier, you look so handsome. Come in, come in!” Mrs. Greenfeld says as soon as she opens the door, all but shoving Simon inside. The aroma of fresh bread and roast beef was thick through the house, a homey smell that made Simon want to move in. “Laura’s up in her room. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

It’s weird, she never tells Simon to keep the door open, like his parents would’ve. She just pushes him along to the staircase before going out to the kitchen.

Simon supposes it doesn’t really matter, it’s not like he’s going to actually do anything. So, he shoves his hands into his kangaroo pocket and walks up the stairs, where Laura greets him. There’s a shy, sheepish smile on her face that Simon’s seen many times before on Bram.

“Hey,” She has her arms crossed against her chest, looking anywhere but at Simon, “So, um, I don’t—I, um…”

Then a hand is grabbing Simon’s bicep, and he’s getting tugged into Laura’s room. It’s a mess of pinks and purples, with a blackboard wall. There are doodles in violet chalk, names and drawings and quotes. _Leah Burke_ , is one name Simon recognizes and below it is a doodle of—

“You’re in _Emoji_?” Simon asks, motioning to the drawing of the band. He recognizes the art style as belonging to his best friend.

“Yeah.” Laura breaths, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I play guitar. Your sister is, um, really cool.”

Simon feels a swell of pride and nods. “Yeah, she is. If you tell her I said that—”

Laura lets out a quiet bark of laughter. “Your secret is safe with me, Simon.”

He walks over to her computer chair and sits. “Listen, you seem cool, but—”

“I’m dating Taylor Matternich.” Laura blurts, eyes growing wide. “So—”

“You’re dating—” Simon could hear himself sputtering, “Taylor— _what_?”

“She’s really amazing.” Laura leans foreword. She looks terrified. “I’m sorry Simon, I can’t _date_ you. Bram really—” She stops herself, continues with, “We can be friends? Please don’t tell my mom, I don’t—”

“ _Wow_ ,” Simon breaths, “This is _not_ how I expected tonight to go.” Then, at Laura’s wince, “I won’t tell.”

She’s still looking at him wearily, so Simon musters up the courage to say, “I’m gay… so…”

 _That’s_ when she visibly calms, letting out a relieved laugh for the first time that night. “Okay, that’s—” Her eyes brighten mischievously, “—amazing. Bram’s gonna—”

“Dinner!” Mrs. Greenfeld yells from downstairs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They’re seated at the dinner table, post-prayer and about to dig in when the front door opens and two rowdy boys tumble in.

“Hey, Mrs. G.” Garrett greets, walking into the kitchen without even looking at the table, going straight for the fridge. “Your son is the gayest mess I’ve ever met. He nearly broke his ankle because Spier was watching lunch practice—” He turns, eyes widening when he spots Simon sitting at the table. “ _Shit_ ,” is muttered, Simon’s pretty sure.

“Oh my g—total _lies_ , mom.” Bram shouts from the other room, “I tripped because someone—” His eyes widen upon walking into the room, grin quickly falling into the shy smile Simon was used to. Bram blushes. “Oh. Hey, Simon.”

“Hi.” Simon manages to get out, because Bram’s standing there without a shirt.

“Sit, boys. You must be hungry after practice.” Mrs. Greenfeld has a smirk on her lips, glancing over to Laura as if she’s in on a joke. Simon is beyond confused.

“I’m good.” Garrett says, “But I think Bram’s thirsty— _ow_ , dude—”

Bram shoves him through the door and up the stairs. They argue all the way up to Bram’s bedroom, where the door slams shut.

When Simon zones back in, he realizes Laura’s laughing into her hand, while Mrs. Greenfeld looks merrily amused.

“That boy,” She says, “Is _indeed_ a mess.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Bram talks about you a lot.” Laura states as they flick through Netflix’s movie selections. “That’s why mom invited you over tonight.”

They were alone now, with Mrs. Greenfeld out on her own date and the two boys upstairs in Bram’s room. They haven’t been down since dinner, and Simon’s kinda salty about that fact.

“We sit at the same lunch table.”

“No, I mean,” Laura stops passing movies, turning to look at Simon. “Bram _talks_ about you. A lot.”

“Okay?”

Laura levels him with a _look_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ is starting when Bram and Garrett finally creep out of Bram’s room for food. Instead of ditching back up the stairs, Garrett walks right into the livingroom with his dinner.

“What’s up with this?” Garrett looks from the screen to Simon, “ _This_ doesn’t look like a romcom. I should know, Bram dragged me to this movie _three times_. Kinda like when he dragged me to— _ow_ , did you really think I’d say it?”

“Yes.” Laura answers for a blushing Bram. Garrett turns to her with a grin and a wink before falling into the armchair.

It leaves the only seat being on the couch next to Simon, who moves closer to Karen so Bram could sit. He does, hesitantly.

 

 

 

 

Halfway through the movie, Laura gets up to pee. A few minutes after that, Garrett claims his mom is calling and leaves, exclaiming that he’ll see them tomorrow at lunch.

“They think they’re so sly.” Bram slides over so he’s right up against Simon’s side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull Simon in for a kiss.

“Your sister thinks you have a crush on me.” Simon breaths a new moments later, when he’s pressed into the couch with Bram’s lips on his neck.

“We’ve been dating for seven months.” Bram nips at the skin, slides his tongue over the mark. Simon keens. “I _do_ have a crush on you.”

“Your _mom_ ’s catching on.”

“Um.” Bram pulls back, “She knows, Simon.”

“She— _what_?”

Bram smiles, gives him a short, sweet kiss before leaning back. “She thought setting up a blind date would get Laura to finally admit she’s dating Taylor. I volunteered _you_ , so we could get some alone time afterwards.”

“Wow,” Simon breaths, “You did all that just to get me into your house.”

“My house, my couch, hopefully my bed...” Bram presses a thumb to the fresh hickey, presses down.

“Woah, yeah, definitely bed. Let’s go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“How was your date?” Simon’s dad asks, pausing the Bachelor as Simon walks in the door. Both parents look excited. “Worth missing tv night?”

“Nah,” Simon replies, shrugging. “She’s nice, but it didn’t work out.”

“Oh. See, I was asking because you forgot to cover up that hickey…”

“Oh my god—"

Simon begins to retreat upstairs.

“Safe sex! Every time including oral!”

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is.
> 
> my tumblr is 'idiotgrimes' if you wanna HMU. you can also send me prompts in my askbox if you wanna.
> 
>  
> 
> (If you were wondering how they started dating, Bram was uber drunk and Garrett convinced him it was a good idea to ask Simon out after pining for literal years. It actually worked.)


End file.
